Season 17, Episode 8: Well, That Was Fast.
Spoiler alert: This isn’t a recap of The Men Tell All, even though technically that’s the episode. But I’d be remiss if actual Bachelorette-ing happened and I didn’t cover it. And some serious show does, indeed, happen tonight.
It looks like a beautiful morning in New Mexico, and Katie and Tayshia are taking a walk and utterly failing the Bechdel Test. I know, that’s what the show is about, but it would have been nice if maybe they had talked about, like, vagina art or something. But in any case, she’s very excited about Michael! And possibly becoming an instant mom to James! She loves that idea! This will be really important in about 10 minutes!
(Notably, Tayshia does say that her strongest relationship on her season wasn’t always with Zac, which, did Zac know that? Can someone check on Zac to make sure he’s ok?)
The remaining guys are talking about what it will be like for them to introduce Katie to their parents, and Michael feels an extra weight because of his son, James, and his family, and their whole story. We see Michael having a video call with James, and promising that when he gets back from this “work trip”—a lie that I don’t think, in the long run, would cause harm—they’re going to go on vacation together for a whole week.
And then, little James breaks the hearts of Bachelor Nation by saying that maybe the reason Michael is gone is because he doesn’t want to see him. Now, James isn’t crying when he says this, and he kind of just goes off and runs around and I’m not sure this kid, at 4, is going to be devastated by this, but it obviously affects Michael, who is in tears by the time their call ends.
(Notably, we see a producer hug Michael, which is nice. I think. I guess? Producers aren’t known for being particularly sincere or kind to their assigned contestants on this show. But in the moment, it seemed like a genuine moment.)
Michael, after spending some time starting contemplatively across the New Mexico vista, heads over to Katie’s room. They hug and it looks like they are very hug-compatible, which is important. (My first meaningful physical contact with my husband was a hug, and it was a hug like none other, and I ended up marrying him, so I’m very attached to hug-compatibility.)
He tells Katie that he came to the Bachelorette because of his “gut feeling” about her, which has been right. And then he tells her about his phone call with James, and he has realized he can’t be away from his son, and only give half of himself to Katie and the process. He gives her a stopwatch that he had brought for her the first night, to symbolize the fact that they know the importance of time, and love, and their love just ran out of time.
Katie is devastated. She said she saw them going to the end. Michael says he could see it too, and assures her that he’s not leaving because of their relationship, but because his son needs his dad. She says he wishes he could stay, but knows he can’t. He says she taught him out to love again.
Katie and Michael say goodbye, and the producers even left in the sound of their hearts pounding as they hug goodbye. Their kiss goodbye is sad, and also very cinematically framed. Nice work, producers!
If last week was rom-com vibes, this week is sad romance vibe. I personally detest movies where the two protagonists clearly love each other and are meant to be together, but can’t be because of Other Obligations; if you are meant to be, make it work! Choose not to live in tragedy! Figure it out! But I also am not entirely sure that Katie and Michael would have ended up together. It’s possible, sure, but I don’t think she would have chosen him in the end.
And … that’s it for tonight! After commercial break, we come back to Tayshia and Kaitlyn hosting The Men Tell All, so I guess the only substance we get tonight is … approximately 20 minutes of Michael self-eliminating? Seems like we could have spent more time on this.
(Notably, as TMTA starts, Tayshia talks about all the “man tears” from this season, and I’m too tired from fighting patriarchal norms to even start to unpack that. Good luck with that!)
