Episode 7: Hard Choices
Sunrise over New Mexico. A rustic wood ladder, tastefully angled. Desert vistas.
And the guys, stressing out about the pressure of the possibility of bringing Katie “home” to meet their parents, a series of dates Bachelor Nation refers to as “Hometowns” but which I refer to as “ … hometowns? I guess?” because I know very few people whose parents still live in the same “town” where they grew up. Oh well. I guess we can’t all be rolling stones.
Continuing with the season’s theme of “girl talk” substituting for “actual hosting responsibilities,” we again see Katie talking it out with Kaitlyn and Tayshia. TL, DR: There are a lot of great guys here.
Meanwhile, Blake is keeping it real with the other guys, telling the ones who haven’t had a one-on-one date—Mike the Virgin and Brendan the Firefighter With Really Good Hair—that they “100 percent” are behind at this point, and they can trust him because he’s basically done this three times.
Virgin and Good Hair are SOL because the date goes to Greg. He appears to look nervous (although part of me thinks he also might not reciprocate Katie’s feelings) and the other guys tell him to breathe and that he “deserves this, bro.” Like, “you deserve this” is said multiple times, so, I guess, hooray for entitlement?
Michael, the widowed father, tells the other guys he has a lot of questions that need to be answered before he proposes. Questions like, will my fiancé be ok with the fact that I take care of my in-laws? Which, aw, Michael. You are the sweetest and I wish you nothing but absolute joy. Also, Michael’s doubt will be a recurring theme throughout the episode.
Katie and Greg’s “date” is a recreation of Pike Place Market, which Katie explains to Greg as though he’s never heard of it? Has anyone of Greg’s, let’s say, demographic, not heard of Pike Place Market? I feel like Pike Place Market, like Seattle itself, is just one of those things White People Know About and Like.
Anyway, Katie and Greg throw fake fish at each other, and have a great time breaking the strand of hanging Edison lights; he feeds her an oyster which she promptly throws back up; they play football with some mild tackling. They talk in a gazebo and Katie again tells Greg that she’s super into him, and he says words that sound like reciprocation, but … I still don’t know. I feel like the editors are showing too much of Katie’s happiness with Greg for it not to be foreshadowing of something bad at this point.
At dinner, Greg tells tells Katie that he hopes things continue into the next week, because he wants to show his family the girl he’s falling in love with, and Katie keeps talking about how it’s “crazy” that she feels this “pull” toward him and I’m not a therapist myself but I have spent enough time in therapy to know that if I was saying these words to my therapist, she would gently remind me that it’s not love I’m feeling, just infatuation (she was a gentle buzzkill, my therapist, but a buzzkill nonetheless).
Anyway, Katie gives Greg the rose, and they end their date with a concert by someone I’ve never heard of. Kidding! They end their date in “the rain,” because apparently making out in the rain is a big part of living in Seattle, and it looks like a pretty big rainstorm that production was able to set up out there in the desert, but really this whole scene was the starting point of a conversation between me and my husband about the movie The Notebook, which I guess involves a scene where they make out in the rain? I don’t know. I haven’t seen it, and my husband was so shocked that I think he may be re-evaluating his decision to marry me, but my entire understanding of The Notebook is based on this video, so, yeah, I don’t really have a desire to see it.
Back at the house, the group date card arrives, and through the power of group deduction, Brendan realizes he’s not getting the next one-on-one date (that goes to Mike the Virgin). Brendan is devastated. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get why he’s still there. So naturally, instead of just rolling with the punches and obeying the rules of the game, he goes straight to Katie’s room to demand why. She’s clearly surprised to see him, and lets him talk for a while. He says stuff like, he thinks he and Katie could “take over the world together” which is, like, kind of a lot, right? Like, I truly love my husband and we have plans—raise a kid, maybe move into an apartment with three bedrooms one day—but ruling over entire civilizations is not on our to-do list.
Anyway. Katie tells Brendan that she has always liked him, and she appreciates their connection, but she’s not sure their relationship can “get there” in time to get engaged, and it’s not fair to put him through all of that. As she’s talking, Brendan realizes he’s made a huge mistake, and we have a pretty sharp cut to him rolling his suitcase down the hall and tapping on Blake’s door to say goodbye. Blake is shirtless, because of course he is, which doesn’t really mean anything, I just wanted to point that out. Anyway Brendan gets into the Black SUV of Goodbyes and the whole thing just feels like a setup for his time on Bachelor in Paradise.
The next day, Blake breaks the Brendan news to the rest of the guys, and they’re surprised but I don’t know how they aren’t acknowledging of all the remaining guys, Mike the Virgin really has no chance of making it to the end of this?
Moving on to the group date. The guys and Katie walk into a courtyard where they are asked to analyze a bunch of paintings in the vagina-adjacent style of Georgia O’Keeffe, which would make sense because her namesake museum is in Santa Fe, and also this is Sex! Positive! Katie!’s season, so of course. Alas, the paintings aren’t O’Keeffes, but they are Secors, and the artist, Jacqueline Secor, is on hand to get the guys’ interpretations. They, um, giggle their way through their analysis, and then they are tasked with making art of their own.
(It’s worth noting that Katie just straight up kisses Andrew as all the guys are working on their art projects, and Justin gives a great “WTF” reaction face, but I’m not entirely convinced that Katie, Jacqueline the artist, and all these guys wouldn’t say no to just a massive group sex session, right here and now. They’re in a bubble during a pandemic, so, I’m just saying, it wouldn’t surprise me, is all.)
Michael makes a sculpture of a woman from behind, whose ass is “muscular.” Justin, for some reason, hopes it’s not an accurate depiction of Katie’s ass. For his part, Justin, who is an actual artist, has a bunch of things on his canvas that represent their “journey” together, and it involves a thoughtful use of negative space and letters, and/or he just didn’t have time to fill the canvas with nice art so he just threw a bunch of stick figures and letters up there. Andrew depicts himself eating sushi, which somehow itself looks vagina-adjacent, because he and Katie are “foodies” because they ate tacos (ostensibly from Taco Bell) that one time. Andrew also interviews that he’s hoping to eat his way to Katie’s heart, which is actually kind of funny.
Blake—who literally sculpted clay into the image of his own genitalia during Tayshia’s season—just presented a black canvas. I don’t entirely understand why, but neither does he, although his explanation is seems to crack everyone up. It legitimately seems like this group had as much fun as they could possibly have while evaluating and creating genitalia-related art in the New Mexico desert.
But then, during the evening part of the date, things get serious.
Blake goes first. He tells Katie that he’s not in love with her right now, but the way it’s going, it’s “fucking inevitable,” according to him. I feel like he feels about Katie the way Katie feels about Greg. Justin gives Katie an original painting of butterflies and a rose, in cool blue and gray tones, and he talks about change and growth and metamorphosis, and I think his painting is actually really good.
And then, it’s Michael’s turn. Katie wants to check in, and Michael says he has a lot of questions, but it might also be tough for him because it’s so obvious he is so smitten with Katie. She talks about getting juice boxes, and how every rose she gives to Michael she is also giving to James, and how if it’s them at the end, they will figure it out. Michael tells her that no one can love her like he can, which on paper I think is a pretty manipulative thing to say, but when he said it, it made sense and sounded sincere. They kiss, and Michael interviews that Katie saying that if it ends up the two of them, they’ll figure it out was all he needed to hear.
“We’ll figure it out,” however, seems to be Katie’s life philosophy—not a bad one! I’m not criticizing!—and when Andrew expresses concern about the inconsistencies that come with the life of a professional athlete, Katie tells him they’ll figure it out. To Andrew, this makes Katie amazing, and he recreates their first date and tell her he’s falling for her.
The group date rose goes to Michael, and the rest of the guys look seriously gutted, and it makes sense because it’s clear that Katie has real relationships and connections with each of the four guys on the date.
Up next, we have Mike the Virgin’s one-on-one date with Katie. They spend time with a woman name Jean, who is a professional cuddle expert, because today is about getting out of their comfort zones. Katie and Mike start out giggling their way through it, which is just about right for the relationship these two have. They eventually settle in and start talking, and Mike talks a little bit about staying a virgin, how it’s for a reason, although he doesn’t exactly name that reason. “If it were up to me,” he says, “I’d be humping everything,” and I wonder who told Mike that it wasn’t up to him? This whole thing is up to him! It’s ok to commit to your choices!
Also, in interview, Mike makes things a little extra weird by saying that he appreciates Katie’s calming presence, because she’s a nurturer, and he loves nurturers, his mom was a nurturer, and Katie reminds him of his mom. Cool! Admittedly, I do think the editors cut this interview to make Mike sound like he’s obsessed with his mom, which isn’t the vibe I get from him generally. But then when he whispers to Katie that she reminds him of his mom, things get a little weird again.
Back at the house Blake anticipates that Mike won’t be coming back from the date, which immediately makes me believe Mike is absolutely coming back from the date.
But I believe this only for approximately 30 seconds because we see Mike sitting alone on a bench, and when Katie approaches him, she’s clearly been crying pre-breakup tears, just like with Connor. She tells Mike that she likes him and respects him, but she has stronger relationships with some of the other guys and it wouldn’t be fair to keep Mike around for a second longer. Mike takes it well; he says he’s bummed he’s not going to be the one to spend the rest of his life with her, but he respects her and he’s rooting for her. Aw.
Katie is broken up by the breakup although I’m sure literally no one is surprised that this is how things ended for them.
With Mike gone, there are five guys left, and only four will go on to hometown dates. With Greg and Michael already holding roses, who will get the remaining two?
Before handing out the roses, Katie says that by giving a rose, she sees a future with someone, and by accepting a rose, they see a future with her. Is this foreshadowing? Greg, cheekily tossing his 90s hair out of his eyes, refuses to answer my question.
Roses go to Blake and Justin.
Wow. Not Andrew?
As I try to recover from my shock, Tayshia and Kaitlyn strut in—you can literally hear their heels on the floor—looking like Lady Holiday’s Models in cat burglar mode, which is a cool distraction.
Katie tells Andrew that, basically, she isn’t as into him as she is into other guys. He deserves someone who can give him 100% passion, and that’s not her. She’s very sorry, he’s very sad, they hug goodbye, and I start my campaign for Andrew as the next Bachelor.
The next morning, Katie is sitting in her room, looking contemplative for the cameras, when there’s a knock at the door. Is it Michael, who we had just seen expressing concern for how Katie’s doing?
No! It’s Andrew! What? He says something about how it wouldn’t be like them, or the relationship they had, if they didn’t end on a smile. It doesn’t seem to change anything, and it feels much more like it’s just ending on a “let’s be friends” note, which is nice. But then! As Katie is walking him out of her room, Andrew pulls an envelope out of his back pocket and asks Katie to read it once he’s gone.
What does the note say? “If you change your mind, I’ll be waiting. Love, Andrew.”
The dramatic music swells. Katie elbows her way around the production people standing around, runs after Andrew, chases him down the stairs and into the lobby, and jumps into his arms. She even asks him to stay! Well, kind of. She asks if there was a way for him to stay, would he want to, and he … declines. He says there’s hurt for him there at the Tamaya Resort, and he doesn’t want to go through that pain again. So, basically, the note was a “if it doesn’t work out with the guy you pick, call me” note. Katie says it gave her the closure she didn’t know she needed, and Andrew seems to be in an ok place too.
Next week: more drama! And also, the Men Tell All episode, which the editors are trying to make seem dramatic but this is literally the least toxic group of guys ever on a season of The Bachelorette and it’s been a freaking delight for that very reason, so, good luck with that, editors!
Tag scene: Greg tells Katie a joke about olives.
Didn’t want to forget this: During Katie’s date with Greg, we see Michael have a videocall with his young son. It’s so adorable. Michael is affectionate and caring, of course, and misses his son, of course, but he’s there because he thinks Katie could be good for him, and for his son. He thinks being happy will make him a better dad, and, you know, good for Michael, for putting his own oxygen mask on first, in a way.
