Episode 4: A New Dawn, A New Day, Etc. Etc.

Change has come. It’s come to those of us who follow the Gregorian calendar, as the year 2021 is in its third week. It’s come to the U.S., in the form of a new president who doesn’t lie all the time and mock disabled people. (I mean, the fact that anyone supported him after that has only become more painful over time.) And, of course, change has come to The Bachelor, because for the first time in the U.S. version of the show, producers have brought in five new women, and not for any good discernible reason other than to mess with the contestants.

Previously, on The Bachelor: Sarah acted very un-Bachelor-contestent-like, sneaking in for extra time and thinking her insecurities were more important than everyone else’s. The other girls were mean to her about it, except for Katie, who knows that what was really bothering Sarah was the fact that her dad was in rapid decline from a terminal illness, although when Sarah told Matt she was leaving, she mostly talked about how the other girls were mean to her.

And here we are, the day after. Matt, contemplative, is sad about Sarah going. The women are all sitting very, very close to each other on a couch, which gives me a mild coronavirus-era panic attack, and they’re all still dragging Sarah, until Katie interrupts Victoria – who just said “The trash took itself out” – and asks her to stop, Sarah’s gone, there’s no point in talking about her anymore. It escalates very quickly, with Victoria saying she won’t stop, and Katie is like, ok, if you want to be awful and toxic (and I don’t think Victoria knows any other way of being), go for it.

All this awkward energy rolls forward into the group date, and MJ is the first to get solo time with him. She has truly amazing hair, and she’s very interested in his well-being. So is Mari. Abigail continues to be real and adorable, and Pieper takes selfies with a pink polaroid.

Chelsea, the model who I think is just way, way too good for this show, shows Matt a picture of her with hair, and then Chelsea talks about the issues surrounding Black women and hair. Good! This is an important conversation that deserves a lot more attention than it’s getting! But at least we get this! Matt seems smitten with her, and they kiss.  

Meanwhile, back at the lodge, Victoria confronts Katie about the way Katie essentially told Victoria to stop being a total asshole for a second. Victoria didn’t like that and says she would love an apology.

Katie, with zero fucks to give, says “You’re not going to get an apology.”

Victoria, who has obviously fully committed to the right-wing narrative that being told you’re an asshole is basically a violation of your First Amendment rights, says that she was just expressing herself, and she can express herself by calling someone literal trash if she chooses too. Katie agrees! And she also says that it’s toxic and rude to do so.

And then! Victoria tries to mock Katie for “expressing herself” by bringing a vibrator, basically implying that women who use vibrators aren’t ready to get engaged, which tells me that Victoria has probably never had good sex in her life. Katie is all NICE TRY, VICTORIA, and leans all the way in to her sex-positive self and literally says “I love my vibrator, so I don’t know what you’re trying to do, coming at me about my vibrator. I’m very confident with what I want to do with my life, and it shows how insecure you are.”

Yes! Katie is a sex-positive, self-aware queen who is also kind and confident! I love her!

Husband: Victoria is so outmatched, and she doesn’t even realize it. It’s amazing. Yes, husband! It is amazing!

Sidebar: I think my husband might have a crush on Katie, and you know what? I’m okay with that, because I think I do too. Katie for Bachelorette! Katie for everything!

Katie then asks Victoria what the hell she wants out of this conversation, and Victoria, sounding like a chastened child, says that she thinks the way Katie talks to her is rude. Katie vows to continue to call Victoria out on being an awful human, and Victoria, using vaguely threatening language, tries to warn her again not to shut her down again. Katie somehow has the fewest possible fucks to give and is all, cool, go for it, whatever, and reminds Victoria that she’s not getting an apology from her.

Oh, yeah – back on the group date, Matt gives the rose to Chelsea. Yay!

Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party of Total Producer Fuckery: In a bit of foreshadowing, if the trailers are any indication, Anna says that as a group, they’re probably ready to move on, after seeing how the drama in the house affected Matt.

Pieper is the first to get time with Matt, and he tells her he likes that she’s a “strong woman” (a phrase I hate when comes from the mouth of literally any man) and they make out. Meanwhile, Victoria, sounding more and more like a robot with every passing moment, is talking about how she wants time with Matt to fall in love with him, and in another bit of foreshadowing, one of the women says that some of them haven’t had a chance to talk to Matt, but the night is young. Have they not learned that nothing about this experience will be comfortable?

Kit, Katie, and I think Serena P. but they didn’t spend a ton of time with her so I can’t be sure, get some time with Matt, and then just as Victoria is trying to convince Matt that she’s not a total ghoul even though she totally is, Chris interrupts them to take Matt away. Matt gives Victoria an extremely chaste hug before getting the hell away from her.

Chris walks Matt through the rooms of women, literally not acknowledging their existence, which, rude. And then Chris tells Matt what’s going on: they’re bringing in more women! Because a record number of women applied to the show because Matt is The Bachelor! And before Matt or any of us can process this, a car pulls up. The other women are convinced Sarah has returned.

They are wrong. It’s a new woman completely! Five of them, in fact!

The first one is Brittany, who says she’s from Chicago and wants to “make up for lost time” and grabs Matt’s face and full-on French kisses him. Did she get consent? Doesn’t look like it! Did they even pray? Probably not! Is The Bachelor/ette audience ok with it because it maintains antiquated notions of consent and gender roles? You bet!

The other women are horrified, although probably not for the same reasons I am.

Brittany walks into the group and introduces herself. Victoria was all “You quarantined as a backup, and now you’re here because some girls left,” and then interviews that Brittany is a “slut” and a “whore” and Victoria cannot get off my screen soon enough.

After Brittany, the other new women are Michelle, Ryan, Kim (who seemed genuinely friendly and eager to meet the other women), and Catalina, an actual beauty queen, former Miss Puerto Rico.

As expected, the already-there women are very, very upset.

Victoria immediately literally takes Catalina’s pageant crown off her head, and God bless Catalina for not committing actual violence on Victoria in that moment.

Matt, who I think I actually forgot about for a minute there, so exciting was this drama, is aware that this will cause some tension among the women. You think?

He proposes a toast, but not a prayer, to the new arrivals. Katie, reasonably, tells the new women that if they sense some tension, it’s because some of them are already invested in their relationships with Matt. Victoria had pulled Matt outside to finish what she called their “convo,” which was basically her blah-blah-blahing about how it’s hard for her to stay there and work through things so they could be together, but she thinks they’d be a good match, or something, and Matt very romantically says “agreed” and then basically jumps up to end their conversation with a robotic hug. Cool.

Meanwhile, Anna, again with the foreshadowing, is saying that she knows who Brittany is, because they’re both from Chicago, and she has a feeling that Brittany isn’t there for Matt.

After scenes of Matt talking to the new arrivals – Michelle seems legitimately promising, to be honest – intercut with the women interviewing about how upset they are by this turn of events, the Rose Ceremony starts. (Again, with the Rose Ceremony in the middle of the episode? Ugh, this throws off the entire rhythm of the episode, and makes it harder to remember where we are from one episode to the next.)

Rose Ceremony: Roses go to MJ, Pieper, Bri, Magi, Michelle, Mari, Ryan, Kit, Serena C., Abigail, Katie, Victoria, Lauren, Brittany, Jessenia, Anna, Catalina.

Matt kept four out of five of the new arrivals – Michelle, Ryan, Brittany, and Catalina. This means he said goodbye to Khaylah, who initially seemed to charm Matt with her truck and iced tea from North Carolina.

The next day, after an extremely awkward chat between Chris Harrison and the women about the new women arriving – and more vague threats from Victoria, who is about as threatening as a mosquito but also way more annoying – he presents the group date card for Mari, Bri, Abigail, Brittany, Ryan, Catalina, Magi, Anna, and Victoria.

But first! Matt gets a visit from former Bachelor and current Christian who probably also prays a lot Ben Higgins, who is there to host the group date.

He introduces the women to an obstacle course called “Fall in Love Fest,” I think because it’s fall, get it? (It is actually really pretty out there at the Nemacolin resort.) The obstacle course involves rowing across a river in giant pumpkins, dressing up in squirrel costumes and digging through piles of leaves for “acorns,” and walking across a balance beam of sorts. Mari won the race, but someone should check and make sure poor Magi, who may have had a dysfunctional pumpkin, made it out of the water.

For the evening part of the group date, Anna is the first to get some time with Matt, but Brittany interrupts pretty much right away, and it totally throws Anna off her game. And thus begins Anna’s revenge plot, which starts with telling Victoria that back in Chicago, Anna has heard rumors that Brittany is an escort. “Entertaining men for money,” she tells Victoria, who can totally see Brittany being an escort (because of course she can), and as Victoria is saying this, we see Brittany and Matt totally making out. He also makes out with Bri a little bit, but we don’t see his interactions with anyone else.

Bri gets the group date rose.

After Matt leaves, Anna – in front of the rest of the group – tells Anna that she wants to “make sure” her intentions are “pure,” and that she’s heard from other people that Brittany is an escort. Brittany is all, “Wait, you were telling people in the house that?” Anna “apologizes” because it’s an “awful thing to say about someone” — apparently she hasn’t gotten the message that sex work is work and the sooner we stop attaching shame to it, the better — and also where’s sex-positive Katie when we need her?

Anna continues that she wanted to give Brittany “space” to explain why people might be “sending warnings,” about her, as though what anyone says about Brittany is actually Brittany’s problem to solve. Brittany denies this allegation, and says she’s had a boyfriend for most of her life, and it’s crappy for people to draw conclusions about her before meeting her. Anna looks like what I imagine a cat would actually look like after eating a canary, and Brittany looks pretty upset.

Victoria, gracious as ever, takes this moment to say “Okay, then, get out the house,” and laughs mirthlessly as only someone like her can. (Although from the editing, it’s unclear whether Victoria actually made this comment at this time.)

Ryan, rightfully, says it’s disgusting that Brittany will have to defend herself against this allegation brought by Anna, who just wanted to stir the pot. Anna, completely insincerely, says she’s glad she brought it up so they could clear the air, or something.

The next day at the house, the women are of course talking about the Brittany rumor. Their words are diplomatic and in the vein of “it’s just speculation until it’s proven to be true,” but their smiles are clearly excited about this nasty turn of events.

One-on-one date: Michelle, one of the new girls, meets Matt for a “leap of faith” date that’s basically a zipline down a hill. They pop some balloons that have some icebreaker-type activities – Share a hidden talent! How many children do you hope to have? – and honestly, these two seem to have a really, really easy chemistry. I haven’t seen Matt this comfortable with anyone else so far.

They finish the daytime part of the date with a hot air balloon ride. They kiss, and fortunately a bunch of binoculars were somehow left at the lodge so the rest of the women could watch. How nice for them.

Back at the lodge, the next group date card arrives, just as Catalina is trying to make a connection with them and Victoria is shooting her down. “Are you ready to fight for love?” the date card asks, and there is a collective groan from the women. Same, ladies. Same.

Back to Matt and Michelle on the evening part of their date, they’re in some kind of fancy car showroom. Matt loves that Michelle is a teacher, and wants to learn more. They cover a lot of territory, with passing mention of the pandemic and going right into the murder of George Floyd. Michelle, who is from Minnesota, talked about the conversations she had with her students as the events were unfolding. She drops a Maya Angelou reference and Matt picks up on it immediately, which seems to pleasantly surprise her. He gives her the rose, obviously, telling her he doesn’t want to scare her, but he’s there to find a wife, and she has all the qualities he’s looking for. They then make out in the back of one of the fancy vintage cars, which I guess is better than a hot tub?

In any case, I feel like things could move pretty quickly with these two. At this point, I’m on board.

The next day, at the lodge, Brittany is talking to Katie about the escort rumor. Katie acknowledges that it can be hard to deal with the dynamic of the house. She interviews that she wants the petty, mean-girl behavior to stop.

Katie says she can sympathize with Brittany. My husband says “Of course you can, because you’re perfect.” I start to wonder if I’ll still be married by the end of this Bachelor season.

Next, the group date gets underway. We see Matt doing some boxing-type training in the forest, as one does, and he says that there’s so much tension in the house that the women have to get their “aggression” out, as one says on a show that does it’s best to reinforce gender stereotypes. He brings out fighting champion Mia St. John, and we get a training montage that tries to convince us that women literally fighting over a man isn’t totally regressive and annoying.

The other contestants file into the “Battle for the Bachelor,” a full-on boxing setup. Bachelor Nation favorite Wells Adams is also there as a commentator.

We see a few rounds of fighting before it gets a little too rough, and Matt calls it off, because, I guess, now it’s too much? It wasn’t too much before? How much of watching women with no actual fight training fight each other is an acceptable amount, Matt?

This whole date is gross.

Matt hopes to redeem the evening part of the date, and he successfully reassures Rachael and Pieper that he has Real Feelings for them, so that’s nice.

Back at the lodge, Anna and Victoria are chatting about the new girls, saying awful things about Brittany and Catalina. Same thing on the group date, where all the girls, except Katie, are dragging the new girls also. She says she understands the frustration, but also, hey, they all have to live together, and at some point the “OGs,” as some of them call themselves, have to stop taking all the digs and move on. She also says she wouldn’t want to be in the new girls’ position. I’m not sure if it’s the editing, but it looks like the general response to this was sarcastic laughter and eye-rolling, and Katie interviews that the environment among the women isn’t healthy, and her efforts to stand up for the other women aren’t working.

And then … oh no … Katie decides to go talk to Matt about the drama. This rarely works. We know this. But Katie’s approach actually seems pretty reasonable, which at this point shouldn’t surprise me. I think what’s different about this situation is that Katie herself isn’t a target of the bullying, but is still speaking out against it, and we don’t usually see that. She basically tells Matt that it would be a good time for him to address some of the bullying in the house. She’s been trying to stand up for the new girls, but there’s a mob mentality and a toxic environment. She tells him that there are some rumors going around that could ruin someone’s life – which, she’s right – and she asks him to address it the next time they’re all together. She doesn’t name names, and she doesn’t say what the rumor is, and Katie is so much better than this show deserves.

All of this is intercut with the other girls on the group date basically acknowledging that they’ve been mean to the new contestants. Lovely.

Matt seems genuinely bothered to hear what Katie is saying, and tells her he will address it. He interviews that no one can “bully their way” into his heart, and he says he owes it to the women to make a safe space for them.

The fact that he says this after eagerly participating in a date where women literally punched each other in the face and throat remains unaddressed.

Tag scene: Magi and Matt – who we haven’t seen spend time together so far – talk about dancing, and then Matt starts dancing for Magi, and it’s legitimately adorable. He’s not a great dancer! But he goes for it!