Episode 1: Welcome to Bachelor Nation, Matt!
Somehow, despite a worldwide pandemic and political upheaval, The Bachelor/ette series has managed to create two seasons of The Bachelor/ette and provide near-constant content since October. The Bachelorette: Pandemic Edition took place at the La Quinta Resort, near Palm Springs, in the middle of summer. It was very hot, very sweaty, and probably very uncomfortable for everyone, which may be why the powers that be decided to move The Bachelor: Pandemic Edition to the Nemacolin Resort in Pennsylvania, a location Chris Harrison calls “new and spectacular.” From the commercials, it certainly does seem like there is a lot more to do here than at La Quinta.
The Bachelor this season is Matt James. He was originally slated to be a contestant on Clare’s season of The Bachelorette. His BFF is Tyler Cameron, who was a finalist on Hannah Brown’s season. Chris Harrison reminds us that we haven’t seen this Bachelor on previous seasons, and the show received a record-breaking number of submissions. “Never before has there been such intense interest,” Chris says, which sounds like his way of saying Matt is the first Black man to be The Bachelor with out, you know, actually saying it. It’s a big deal! It’s taken way too long! There have already been some seriously questionable marketing choices!
Let’s meet Matt! Matt James likes to run shirtless and skateboard in black skinny jeans. He is 28 years old and he’s from North Carolina. He’s a real estate broker in New York City and also works with vulnerable kids there. Religion was a big deal for him growing up (Christian, of course, because The Bachelor/ette can only break one new ground at a time, apparently, and making sure The Bachelor is a practicing Christian honestly feels like a way to mollify viewers who are probably scared of “too much change” all at once). His mom is white, his dad is Black, and they’ve been divorced for as long as he can remember, and it’s limited his ability to be in a relationship. We learn this by watching a conversation between Matt and his mom, who looks like an actual rock star, or maybe I just think that because she’s wearing bold makeup and black leather pants and high heels like it’s something she does every day.
Let’s meet (some of the) ladies! Alicia is a ballerina, which makes her a perfectionist. Abigail was born deaf and uses a cochlear implant. Kristin is a serious attorney who also loves WAP, and I appreciate ABC allowing the shout-out to this song. Magi is from Ethiopia and moved to the US about nine years ago. Anna is a white girl who uses the word bougie and also she’s a copywriter from Chicago. Sarah is a TV reporter out of Palm Springs who stepped away from her career to be a caregiver for her dad, who has ALS. Pieper is a graduate student who is excited to see diversity and representation on screen. Me too, Peiper!
Matt arrives! Matt arrives, in a full tuxedo, for a chat with Chris Harrison. They’re in front of the Nemacolin which looks big and grand and like something you’d see in Disneyland. Chris Harrison jokes that it’s his chateau, just a “knockaround place” they built last year. They go inside for a chat and Matt is really nervous, you guys. It’s his first experience with Bachelor Nation, so he wants Chris to tell him what to expect, and basically Chris gives him the Bachelor Nation equivalent of “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose,” and also Chris says sometimes Matt will get so frustrated he’ll want to “choke [Chris] out.” Yikes, Chris Harrison!
Matt also talks about the pressure of being the first Black Bachelor, and it seems like maybe he’s talking about pressure to end up with a Black woman? I think? He doesn’t outright say that but I think that’s what he’s saying. He doesn’t want to upset Black people or white people, because he’s both. Chris Harrison is basically all love is all you need (strong “race doesn’t matter vibes” here, it seems). We also learn that Matt hasn’t really been in love before.
ABC uses this commercial break to advertise a 20/20 special called “The Dating Game KILLER,” and asks how a serial killer could look for love “in your living room,” which, first of all, NO THANK YOU ABC, and second of all, why didn’t they air that closer to Valentine’s Day? Seems like a missed opportunity.
The Women Arrive! In addition to the usual groups of women arriving while basically screaming with excitement before even getting out of the limo, is always a little bit of kookiness and (producer-instigated?) shenanigans. Tonight’s notable shenanigans include:
Kristin an attorney, tells Matt that the “verdict is in,” and he’s “so guilty of being incredibly fine.” Oy.
Anna brings a “Bachelor survival kit,” including red flags to pin on some of the other girls, or something.
Khaylah, healthcare advocate, from NC, drives up in a pickup truck, because she wanted to be that reminder for him of home. Matt asks if it’s a stick or automatic, and she’s all, “It’s stick, put some respect on my name,” which is really the only acceptable response, to be honest.
Serena P. is only 5’2”, and Matt is very tall, so she brought a step stool
Alicia the ballerina pirouettes out of the limo.
Saneh is wearing “Goat” slippers, because she says he’s the GOAT and she hopes he thinks she’s the GOAT. This legitimately sounds like the move I’d make.
Alana shows up with a bowl of pasta and makes Matt do the whole “Lady and the Tramp” thing, which feels a little weird, consent-wise, and Matt doesn’t know what to say about it.
Kaili is literally wearing just lingerie and a little robe and walks up with a rolling clothing rack with two dresses and asks Matt to choose. Matt’s response: “You gotta love a woman with confidence.” It makes Saneh, wearing the goat slippers, feel very unsexy.
MJ drives up in a car made to look like a pizza delivery car, and brings him a “pizza” which I think is actually just an empty pizza box, and says: “I know this is cheesy, but fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so this is my gift to you.
Katie, a bank marketing manager, holding something behind her back that she says has helped her get through the pandemic, and it’s really important to her, and it is literally a vibrator, and she says she hopes to “pass the torch” to Matt. I mean, hooray for sex positivity, but I really hope that vibrator is symbolically hers and not, like, actually hers. Matt calls it a lightsaber and laughs. When she walks into the room with the other women, she places the vibrator on the coffee table for everyone to see. They laugh, which I guess is nice.
Casandra, a social worker, is wearing a football uniform with “Mrs. James” on the back.
Ileana asks: “Can I put my balls in your mouth?” And feeds him a giant meatball. Okay.
Kit rolls up in a chauffeured limo, and says something about ridesharing which I didn’t quite understand, and she is wearing black ankle boot stilettos with a light pink feathery dress and honestly I love that look, but also let’s just introduce her to Bennett and be done with it.
Victoria is literally carried in by men on one of those fancy platforms and says she’s “Victoria like the Queen,” and puts a crown on him like he’s “King Matt.” I find this kind of stuff annoying already, but then she just totally loses me when she walks in and says “the Queen has arrived, bitches!” Ugh.
It looks like everyone’s arrived – 32 women total – and they are eager to get the party started. Katie clinks her glass with her sparkly purple vibrator and says, in a way I find actually kind of charming: “Tonight is gonna be a long and hard night, but we need to remember to have fun, so let’s cheers to Matt tonight.”
Husband: Miss Dildo seems nice.
Cocktail party! It doesn’t start in the traditional way, or maybe it actually starts in a really traditional way. Matt comes in and asks everyone to bow their head because he’s going to pray for everybody, he says the following: “Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us all together healthy. Give these women the courage to get though these next few months. You say that you work all things for the good of those who love you and are called according to your purpose, Father God, and I feel like that’s why I’m here, and I thinks that’s why these women are here, Lord, so bless this time we have together Father in your holy name I pray. Amen.” Huge cheers from the women, some of whom were moved to tears.
And then Matt gives a very touching speech about being vulnerable, and admits that in the past he’s tried to present himself as the perfect person, even though he’s not.
There are a lot of conversations during the cocktail party, but apparently not enough, because not everyone got the chance to talk to him. But a few stood out.
Mari tells Matt she’s from Puerto Rico and he asks how her family dealt with the hurricanes, which shows an unusual-for-this-show awareness of events, but she’s interrupted by Katie-With-the-Vibrator, who literally taps Mari on the shoulder with her vibrator before “stealing” Matt away, and I really hope SNL does a sketch about this specifically. When Mari tells the other women about it, one of them says “What a buzz-kill,” which literally made me laugh out loud.
Khaylah treats Matt to a sweet tea toast in the back of her truck, which I guess is a North Carolina thing.
Kit was in the process of giving Matt a snow globe of New York and making a nice little speech about giving him a reminder of his new home when she’s interrupted by “Queen Victoria,” who calls Kit “princess” and essentially gives her the boot. Victoria has apparently never heard the phrase “drinking water from a firehose,” so Matt kindly explains it to her, but if you survived 2020 – nay, the Trump administration – without understanding that phrase, do you even exist? Also the whole “Queen Victoria As Villain” thing feels very producer-generated to me. She doesn’t seem to have the confidence of an actual villain, and she’s also doing this thing where she’s encouraging other women to talk to Matt, I guess? But also brags about how she’s proud of herself for talking to him? It’s uncomfortable to watch.
Bri has what seems like a lovely conversation with Matt, sharing that, like Matt, her parents separated early, and she never had a good relationship modeled for her, which seemed to land with him.
Matt and Abigail chat and he seems super smitten with her and he must be because they kiss! It’s the first kiss of the season! I’m really happy to have representation of deaf people on this show.
First impression rose! Abigail. It was super cute! She’s adorable!
Rose Ceremony! Most women got roses, some didn’t, and at this point it’s just too early to try to parse the difference between all of them, except for who the editors told me to pay attention to, including: Bri, Chelsea (a model who didn’t get nearly enough attention this episode, I mean her dress was amazing and she had short hair, which we never see on this show), Khaylah, Kit, Mari, Katie With the Vibrator, and “Queen Victoria,” ugh. I don’t even think she really wants to be there.
Going home tonight: Alicia, the ballerina, which I think is a bummer. She seemed interesting, and it would have been nice to have the creative arts represented on this show. Also some other women went home but I don’t know their names. Honestly, I don’t even think we got to see all of their introductions to Matt.
I have to say, after this episode, I’m looking forward to this season. Matt comes across as sincere, and nervous, and genuine, and self-aware. I can see why he was picked for the Clare/Tayshia season, which had a relatively high caliber of guys overall. He is trying to talk to everyone, he’s open and honest about his expectations, and being vulnerable, and maybe I’m too naïve but so far it seems like he means it.
And the women overall seem like a level-up for this show as well. A lot of different careers, a lot of representation on a few levels – definitely a change for this show, and I’m glad to see it.
Tag scene: Chris Harrison takes the pickup truck that Khayhlah drove in, and we learn that Matt doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift.
This season on The Bachelor: Tears! So many tears! And apparently also skydiving.
