This Seems Fine.
By Saban Films
In the upcoming movie “Fatman,” Mel Gibson plays Santa Claus. The real Santa. You know he’s the real Santa because he drinks and makes dick jokes and has been shot at and generally appears to be grizzled and grumpy, and also the trailer tells us that this is “the real story” of Santa Claus and we do not know it. The real Santa has a workforce of elves, but they’re sarcastic, like him, and sarcasm – like hard drinking – also means someone is very humanly and tragically real. While having an existential crisis over whether he even wants to keep wearing “the coat,” he tells his wife: “All I have is a loathing for a world that’s forgotten.” Yes, this Santa is real, and also really, really sad.
This sounds lovely.
In “Fatman,” Santa delivers gifts but also sometimes literally a lump of coal. One child, who has dark hair and an angry look about him, was one of those unfortunate coal-receiving kids, and when he discovers this, he shakes his coal-holding fist at the sky and vows revenge. This child is very powerful, which we know because he hires an assassin, played by Walton Goggins, to literally kill Santa. This child is also very dangerous, because at one point in the trailer he is seen in shadow, apparently preparing to torture a fellow child, a girl, who might be tied to a chair.
That sounds nice.
A movie where Santa (I’m assuming) defeats those who would try to kill him – effectively, winning a war on the very life and soul of Christmas – sounds exciting! The War on Christmas is, like Mel Gibson’s Santa in “Fatman,” absolutely, definitely real! The first American hero to uncover the truth was Henry Ford back in the ‘20s, when he published a weekly newsletter called “The International Jew: The World’s Foremost Problem.” In 1921, Ford wrote that “ten Jewish students can abolish the mention of Christmas and Easter out of schools containing 3,000 Christian pupils,” and that Jewish groups in New York and Chicago were forcing the “elimination of Christmas celebrations in public schools and public places, police stations, and so on, public displays of Christmas trees, singing of Christmas carols and Christian hymns.” Personally I have always known that this is in fact the goal of Jews everywhere, which I definitely helped accomplish by not knowing all the words to the Christmas songs I sang as a child every December as part of my public elementary school’s annual Christmas Assembly. Subversive! But anyway it seemed like maybe people had forgotten about the War on Christmas but then Bill O’Reilly brought it back in 2004, and then the Holy Trinity of Hannity-Ingraham-Carlson sang its praises and turned them into war cries, and then Donald Trump became president and in 2017 declared that he won the War on Christmas because “we’re saying Merry Christmas again.”
This is great.
In 2006, Mel Gibson said “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” He said this while being arrested, and reportedly asked the arresting officer if he was Jewish. The actress Winona Ryder has said that in 2010, Gibson referred to her as an “oven dodger.” Gibson’s dad was a known Holocaust denier, and Gibson himself has questioned the number of Jews killed in the Holocaust, calling it a “numbers game.” Last year, it was announced that Gibson would star in a movie called “Rothchild,” about the son of a super-rich New York family going after his inheritance (possibly with murderous results?), and I’m sure it has nothing to do with the real-life super-rich Rothschild family, which has been the target of multiple anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. Screenwriter Joe Eszterhas, after working with Gibson on a movie called “The Maccabees” that would eventually end up not getting made, accused Gibson of so much anti-Semitism I don’t want to rewrite it all, so you can read it here. And let’s not ever forget Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ,” which is basically “Blood Libel: The Movie” and was two straight hours of watching Jews murdering Jim Caviezel’s white Jesus (apparently a sequel is in the works).
That’s cool.
“Fatman” doesn’t appear to directly blame Jews for the War on Christmas, but we already know how Gibson feels about Jews and wars. At one point in the trailer, Gibson-as-Santa yells to his would-be assassin: “You think you’re the first?” No, Santa Mel. We do not think that. Because as the movie, and the audience, already knows, the War on Christmas has been going on for a long, long time. Around 2,020 years, in fact.
This seems fine.
“Fatman” is scheduled for release in select theaters in the U.S. on November 13, 2020, and by digital download on November 17, 2020. You can watch the trailer here.
