Episode 8: Four Families, Three Roses

BREAKING NEWS: Matt James has issued a statement.

(Seriously, this happened just after 7 p.m. ET, less than an hour before the “Hometowns” episode was set to air. Who knows what will happen as the show is airing? In that sense, this season might actually be the most exciting season ever.) (Except for the racism. That’s not exciting. That’s just disappointing and exhausting and harmful.)

The past few weeks have been some of the most challenging of my life, and while there are several episodes left of the season, it is important that I take the time to address the troubling information that has come to light since we wrapped filming, including the incredibly disappointing photos of Rachael Kirkconnell and the interview bw Rachel Lindsay and Chris Harrison. The reality is that I’m learning about these situations in real time, and it has been devastating and heartbreaking to but it bluntly. Chris’s failure to receive and understand the emotional labor that my friend Rachel Lindsay was taking on by graciously and patiently explaining the racist history of the Antebellum South, a painful history that every American should understand intimately, was troubling and painful to watch. As Black people and allies immediately knew and understood, it was a clear reflection of a much larger issue that The Bachelor franchise has fallen short on addressing adequately for years.

This moment has sparked critical conversations and reporting, raised important questions, and resulted in inspiring displays of solidarity from The Bachelor nation. It has also pushed me to reevaluate and process what my experience on The Bachelor represents, not just for me, but for all of the contestants of color, especially the Black contestants of this season and seasons past, and for you, the viewers at home.

I will continue to process this experience, and you will hear more from me in the end. My greatest prayer is that this is an inflection point that results in real and institutional change for the better.

What to make of this? To me, it seems more strongly-worded than Becca’s initial statements when her final pick Garrett was revealed to have a problematic social media history. I’m not great at reading between the lines, but, assuming Matt did pick Rachael in the end, I think it’s hard to get past the “incredibly disappointing” sentiment. I also think the fact that he says he’s still processing his experience might mean that he and Rachael are no longer together.

UPDATE TO BREAKING NEWS: Shortly after Matt’s IG statement, Reality Steve confirmed that Matt and Rachael have broken up. Reality Steve is usually pretty reliable, although he also confirmed that Katie was the next Bachelorette, and at this time I’m not sure that’s actually happening.

In any case … I guess I’m just going to watch these next few episodes for nostalgia value? Because we know that, at this point, my real interest isn’t what’s happening on screen. What I want to know is how will the Bachelor franchise change things going forward so this can stop happening. I don’t want to give up one of my longtime favorite shows, but if they don’t take action to fix the racism, I will.

The best part of this episode is, hands down, the moms. Well, three of the four moms – Rachael’s entire family is pretty much as you’d expect. But the other three moms are great: they respect their daughters, and while they’re not unkind to Matt, they don’t give him a lot of wiggle room – but are still respectful about it. (Again, not talking about Rachael’s family here.) I would love to see Michelle, Bri, and Serena’s mom have a show of their own. And also Michelle’s dad, who was pretty great.

We open with Matt working out, Peloton prominently placed for maximum visibility. (Disclosure: I have a Peloton, and I love it.) Matt is very hopeful about the next step, and so are, presumably, the ladies, whose families have been brought to the Nemacolin for the very purpose of meeting Matt – and, perhaps, seeing their daughters? I haven’t seen my family in a year.

Also, Chris called Rachael “Rach”? Yeah. That tracks.

Michelle’s Hometown: I really like Michelle and think she’s too good for this process. After greeting Matt – they’re wearing the same color shirt, cute! – Michelle points Matt to a couple of vintage-y bikes with baskets, which they ride to a theater featuring a big Zoom meeting with some of Michelle’s students. The kids ask “Mr. James” some questions, like “What has Ms. Young taught you?” and “Are you going to give Miss Young a rose?” Matt deflects appropriately. One kid is wearing a “Team Ms. Young” shirt. Aw. Another student says Ms. Young has inspired her, and asks Matt how he will inspire Ms. Young. Good question! Matt says he’ll inspire her by being her biggest champion.

Me: sure.

Also me, remembering Matt’s statement: Okay, maybe?

Michelle tells Matt that her parents were really hesitant for her to drop everything for The Bachelor, but that he was her reason for doing that. Ahead of meeting her parents, Michelle gives Matt a pep talk, and then it’s time to see mom and dad! They seem genuinely happy to see Michelle and I like her parents immediately.

Dad pulls Michelle away for a real chat, and asks what she likes about him. Her answer: his activism for underserved kids, and I feel like if there’s anyone here who can bring out the best in Matt, it’s Michelle. Dad asks if Michelle would say yes if Matt proposed and she says yes. They make some vague reference to something that happened “two years ago,” the memory of which brings Michelle to tears. Do we get to know what this is? Nope! Does it surprise me at all that the show would gloss over the opportunity to learn more about the life about a Black woman? Nope!

Dad asks if Matt is in love with Michelle, and Matt … kind of says yes? He tells him that he hasn’t told her yet, and also that he’s open to moving to Minnesota. He next-levels it to say there’s nothing that would keep him from being with her, and I hope Dad hangs on to his skepticism here, because Matt is saying just the right words. Even though I’d like to believe he and Michelle have the best connection, based on all the off-camera drama, I don’t.

Michelle and Mom: Mom asks really good questions. She clearly trusts her daughter and wants her to be happy, and is gentle and seems very loving. Michelle’s parents for all the wins!

After a family game of basketball, Michelle tells Matt that she’s falling in love with him. They kiss. Michelle feels validated, and walks Matt out to the car. I really hope she gets to go spend more time with her parents! (Have I mentioned that I haven’t seen my family in a year?)

Rachael’s Hometown: Rachael starts out talking about trust and blindfolds Matt and puts him in a fast car and they go skydiving. Honestly it’s so painful to watch their interactions, to see Matt say he’s falling in love with her. Every producer who allowed her on this show – because I don’t doubt that they knew her social media history – should be fired.

Rachael does take a pretty hard landing and why wasn’t she wearing a helmet? I blame production, again. This also seems to spark extra strong feelings in Matt.

Even before Rachael and Matt go in to meet her parents, we see Rachael’s dad expressing about things moving too fast. Sure, Dad. That’s totally your hesitation. How fast things are moving.

Rachael’s mom doesn’t believe her daughter when she says she hasn’t seen any red flags with Matt. Dad and Matt chat by a fire that I believe is reflective of the fiery fury in Dad’s eyes when he looks at Matt, and Dad tells Matt to slow the f down, and tells Matt that he doesn’t believe Matt can be serious when he’s dating so many people. Matt tries to convince him of his good intentions and I need to be convinced that if the Bachelor was, say, Colton, would Rachael’s parents have these same concerns?

Matt tells Rachael that he didn’t ask her dad for his blessing to propose. Rachael is disappointed. I don’t care about any of this.

Bri’s Hometown: Bri reminds Matt of that time he tried to kill her by flipping on ATV on their one-on-one date, and says it’s “payback time.” So they … get into a Jeep? With seatbelts? That seems way safer than the ATV? Why are the women in actual physical jeopardy this season?

Bri’s visitors are her mom and her best friend, who is also named Bri. They meet Bri’s baby sister, and Matt’s “gift” is a stuffed rabbit the size of an 8 year old that he carries around by the neck. None of this is a … great sign?

Mom asks Matt if he’s in love with Bri and he says he’s “falling for her,” which he acknowledges probably isn’t the answer she wanted to hear. Unlike maybe some of the older parents, Bri’s mom isn’t fazed at all by this. She knows exactly what’s going on here. I get the strong sense that Mom has seen multiple Bachelor seasons.

Bri tells her mom that she thinks Matt is the real deal, and Mom’s response: “Worst case scenario, we are mending a broken heart together.” Wow. Bri’s parents and Michelle’s parents for all the wins!

At the end of the date, tells Matt that she’s falling in love with him and they kiss.

Serena P.’s Hometown: Serena is from Canada, and decides to bring a little bit of Canada to Matt. This includes looking at a map of Canada and guessing how many points are on the maple leaf on the Canadian flag. Matt also thinks a toboggan is a hat. There is also poutine and ice hockey, because of course.

I kind of get the sense that Matt is way more into Serena than she is into him.

Serena’s family is adorable. They seem to have an easy, comfortable, fun energy. Serena’s mom thinks Matt is a good guy, but that Serena might not be ready. Serena tells her sister that “on paper,” Matt’s great, which is never a good sign. Neither is the fact that Serena tells her sister that she feels like she’s “catching up” to Matt’s feelings. Serena’s sister thinks Serena isn’t quite “smitten” and that there’s something missing, and is concerned that Serena will get engaged and regret it. Dad also has concerns about Serena’s readiness to be engaged, and Serena confesses to Mom that, deep down, she has some doubt. Mom thinks it might be due to a previous breakup that really messed with Serena, and Serena agrees, and once again it appears that we, the viewing audience, are deprived of the backstory of one of the final four women.

Serena, instead of telling Matt that she’s falling in love with him, tells him that she has doubts, but in a way that’s “it’s not you, it’s me.” Matt’s reaction to hearing this is very calm, which throws Serena for even more of a loop.

Chris Harrison and Matt: Chris joins Matt for a … picnic? In the woods? and pretends to care about Matt’s well-being. We all know he doesn’t, not really. Watching him pretend to be Matt’s friend is almost as painful as watching Matt and Rachael express their love for each other.

The next day, Matt, feeling weird about how his date with Serena ended the night before, drives to the lodge to meet her. He tries to woo her with such romantic thoughts as “You are the person I’ve spent the most time with, and that’s intentional.” He tells her he could see himself having a life with her, and Serena … doesn’t reciprocate. She tells Matt she doesn’t think he’s her person, and cannot give him a rose at this time. (Okay not technically. But it feels that way.)

Matt looks gutted. He tells Serena that he could tell after the date with her family that “there was something off with you,” which may not be exactly what he wanted to say? He also says “it stinks” a lot, but also acknowledges that if she doesn’t think he’s the one for her, there’s nothing he can do about it. She walks him out, and Matt talks about how bummed he is while sitting in the back of a car. It all feels way more Bachelorette than Bachelor.

Rose Ceremony: Serena leaving takes literally all the mystery out of the rose ceremony. Michelle, Bri, and Rachael figure out that Serena isn’t coming. Chris Harrison takes just enough time ahead of the rose ceremony to ask Matt if Serena’s departure triggered any other insecurities, and honestly, they should have just edited Chris out of these episodes. Matt tells the other women that Serena broke up with him, and reminds them that this is serious for him. “I want you to think long and hard about that commitment before you accept the rose tonight,” which, ok Dad, I’ll be sure to do that.

As sad, dramatic music plays, each woman accepts a rose. Michelle, who is way too good for all of this, tells Matt that she accepts the rose “without hesitation,” and interviews that she sees Matt as her husband.

Matt proposes a toast to “finding love.” Okay.

Tag scene: Matt, who you may recall is a “prankster” which is a quality that’s very important to him, falls off and breaks his bike while trying to, I don’t know, “prank” Michelle? I guess? I don’t know.